I remember having the thought more than once when I was pregnant with our first child, Ollie, that there was no way I was going to be a good mother because deep down I didn't really want a little person around all the time in my 'space'. I was terribly afraid that I would be a harsh, resentful mom. These thoughts would cast me out into a sea of guilt and despair.
Turned out I was not as bad as I thought I would be but there were times I just wanted to hide in a closet during Ollie's first year when the demands of motherhood began to overwhelm me. When Ollie was 11 months old, Jesus introduced himself to me in a radical way. Over the past eight years, He has been working in me a new thing.... exchanging my old heart for His.... little by little. Yesterday there was a little lull here on our farm with 1 husband, 7 children, 6 dogs, 3 cats, 2 horses, 3 goats, and some countless number of random birds. It was in this brief silence I had the thought that Jesus really does change us. I know that sounds so silly and simple but it was a 'whoa' moment for me. You see, this entire scenario could not be possible had it not been for a Savior very lovingly and quietly working in my heart. In that brief moment I saw the reveal of an eight year long surgery. I know the surgery is not complete- these trials that even daily life bring my way constantly show more work that needs to be done. Oh, there is so much! But the glimpse of what the Master Physician can do yesterday gave me so much hope! OK, yep, that's all I've got to say about that. Hope you have a little quiet moment in your day today to have a 'whoa' moment. So cool! Peace and all my love from the farm to you! ~L